Life has thrown some major interruptions my way the past few months. To be brutally honest, it has sucked big time. I’ve always considered myself a strong person – but that has been tested a lot recently. If I had time to have a nervous breakdown, I probably would.
I read a quote yesterday that perfectly describes my life at this time… “Sometimes the things we can’t change, end up changing us.” Boy, have I found that out to be true this year.
Sometimes we throw all our energy in to trying to “change” or “fix” our problems and situations when maybe it’s us that needs to be changed. That maybe our situations won’t change until we do. Change is hard, no matter WHAT kind. But if it all stayed the same, we would never grow, we would never discover the person we were meant to be. I have spent the majority of this year questioning why I’m the one who is defeated and also why I’m the one being put through change. Most days I don’t have answers or even understand, most days I have the “life’s not fair” pity party. But I have hope that when I’m done changing in to the person I need to be, when I’m rebuilt, that I’ll be better than ever. Stronger.
I’ve learned a lot this year about myself. I’ve learned I’m stronger then I realized, but that being weak is ok. I’ve learned that you don’t realize how something effects you until it’s destroyed you. I’ve learned that soul mates don’t always have to be a romantic relationship. That there are some people in your life that you just connect with, your best friend, your sibling, etc…that they understand you. I’ve learned that God sends exactly the right people at the right time, whether to make you smile or give you hope. I’m learning that God will never leave you empty, that His strength is always made perfect in our weakness. I’ve learned crying isn’t a sign of weakness, but that a sign that you are alive. A living, feeling, emotional being. Lastly I’ve learned that the only person I need to strive and be better than, is the person I was yesterday. In every aspect of my life, be better.
I may not like change, but I like who I am becoming. Bring on 2013!
PS: Four weeks until I run 26.2 for the 2nd time.
Thinking about you. Life is hard and change sucks. Wishing you all the strength to come out on the other side even better and more powerful than you already are.