Renewed Strength

In Uncategorized on March 26, 2012 at 4:50 am

I told myself after today’s crappy & painful run that I would only allow myself to have a pity party on my way home. Then I would chalk this run up to a tiring week/weekend and embrace a new training week.

Well that didn’t happen. 
I continued to beat myself up for the rest of the day and just ended up indulging in 4 oreos. Good plan, Cayla. 
This weekend I was supposed to volunteer for an awesome race and had everything planned for a LONG 15 miler on Saturday with a friend. My husband’s neck started hurting Friday night and only worsened throughout the night. I knew early Friday morning I would be taking him to the ER…poor guy couldn’t even sit up on his own. We had to get the pain under control, he was close to tears several times. After several hours at the ER Saturday morning, he was doing some better. He is still in pain, but is gaining range of motion back. They basically told him, Torticollis, I think that was the easy diagnosis. Hopefully he continues to feel better. So anyways, that changed all my weekend training plans. 
This past week was extremely trying as a parent. I think Taylor would agree. I’ve never had to spank my precious girl more than I have this week. I’ve felt like the absolute worst parent. I know it’s just Satan feeding those thoughts, but there have been times, He’s gotten under my skin and I’ve believed His lies. 
Overall, I was really proud of my training week. I had stuck to all my runs, finally got back on the bike, and was looking forward to running those 15 miles. 
Since the rain held off until this afternoon, I set out around 1 today for my run. I knew I wouldn’t get 15, but was hoping for at least 10. Yeah right. For longer runs, I wear my Fuelbelt, but for whatever reason it would NOT stay in place, no matter how much I tightened it. I was so mad by 3 miles that I ripped it off and almost chucked it in the bay. But I wasn’t giving the devil that satisfaction…so I refrained and tried to calm myself down. Then the back/side of my left calf muscle started throbbing. I decided to try out my new Brooks shoes, so I figured this was a sign my legs didn’t like them. They were about .5 size to small and I hated how they felt under my arch. So at this point, I decided to turn around to prevent any more damage. I held my Fuelbelt the rest of the way. I was doing pretty good until I was headed back South and the winds were 20 mph. My face hurt, my eyes were burning, the sand was ridiculous. I think at some point I laughed because this whole run was just beyond stupid. I still managed an hour run though. The last song to play was Third Day’s “40 Days”…and I was almost overwhelmed because I swear I heard God say, Cayla, did you ever just stop and thank me for your legs, your lungs, for the hour you did run. Did you ever just ask Me for strength. I was busy being mad and feeling consumed with self pity, no wonder I was running terribly. 
The song says…
“In this trial that I’m going through
I don’t question ’cause I know it’s true
That the sorrow brings me back to You
And You have made me stronger”

I know I’ll continue to grow stronger and run stronger. We have good days, we have bad ones. We have days where the devil relentlessly beats up on us, but we are told in Isaiah 40:31 “…those who HOPE in the Lord will have renewed strength. They will soar on wings like Eagles, they will RUN and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint…” I’m clinging to His hope and embracing a new week. 
Hope you have a blessed week as well.

Side note: am I the only “runner/cyclist” whose car looks like this?
3 pairs of tennis shoes, Fuelbelt, 2 Gatorades, helmet, headphones, snacks, water bottle, bike cleats, I mean, it’s beyond silly.
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